Isn’t it interesting how we compartmentalize our lives with boxes?
Each box represents rules we have learned. Learned from our family and teachers growing up. Learned from the media. Learned from society in general.
- We have boxes for how to behave in public.
- Boxes for how to behave as a wife, mother, sister, friend.
- Boxes for how to conduct ourselves at work.
- Boxes for how we should think spiritually.
- Boxes for how we should act sexually.
Boxes and boxes and boxes.
For the most part, we live quite happily inside those boxes because they provide structure and boundaries. But we get to a point in our lives we start to feel confined. Claustrophobic even. We are expanding spiritually, mentally and emotionally and the boxes are no longer comfortable.
As a matter of fact, they are downright uncomfortable, and you want to bust free. Now!
Not All Boxes Are Created Equal
Not all boxes are bad. We need rules and boundaries, but these rules have to be in line with our own values. They have to be authentic to us, and not just followed because our parents said, or our teachers said, or our boss says, or all that mass media advertising says.
It is the unauthentic boxes that cause us discomfort. These are the ones we need to bust out of.
Separating Good Boxes From Confining Boxes
“But Eliza,” you counter, “it’s not like my boxes are all lined up neatly on a shelf and labelled. How on earth do I determine which boxes need busting out of?’
Actually, your boxes are labelled, you just need to learn how to read the labels. You are not looking for labels that say Parents, Teachers, Boss, Society. After all, some of the rules associated with those categories are in line with your values, so you don’t want to ditch them.
The labels you are looking for are:
- I feel guilty
- I must
- I should
- I have to
- I feel obligated to
As soon as you make any of those statements, you are talking about rules that do not align with who you are. Living within the walls of those boxes does not serve you well, and you need to bust free.
Just like Jack … SPROING!
